Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
