I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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