if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
