Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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