Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
