You can't motorboat a personality
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
how drunk are you?
Several
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
