I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
How external is "for external use only"?
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
