Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Randomize