At least make sure they are 18
Why
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
