I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize