Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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