so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
