So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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