Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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