you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
