dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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