i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
