spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
