oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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