her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
