what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So much Jack, so little girl.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize