Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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