i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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