i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
