Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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