lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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