You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
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