***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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