Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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