My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
We don't watch enough power rangers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
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