Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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