Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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