whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
