when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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