jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
