If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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