in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Randomize