I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
