I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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