my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
