His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
