She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Randomize
