fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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