I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize