i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
