she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
