so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
