they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
