Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
