rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Fuck appropriateness.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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