I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
