Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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