Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I said "one day" and that day is not today
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
