just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
did i walk over a car last night?
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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