p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
