glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
