i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
this hospital has no fireball
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
