i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
