i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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