Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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