I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
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