I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
